When I tell people I don’t have children there is always a pause and then a confused look followed by the question; ‘Why don’t you have children?’
I am always a bit perturbed by this and think ‘wow does it really bother others that I don’t have children?’ It doesn’t bother me. I feel I have been put on this planet to do the things I am doing. And I am really quite happy.
Having a family now is very different to say, twenty years ago. I feel the internet, mobile phones, social media and other modern ways have changed the way children are growing up. I also feel that moving house to get a good place in a school seems to be a real battle. Perhaps I am just selfish now, I don’t mind admitting that as I know I can clear off and do what I want. I guess I have evolved in this way. Don’t get me wrong, I love children and I don’t always get them but I enjoy their company and as my nieces know I spend a good deal of time with them. But there are times when I see people who don’t appear very happy having kids.
Is it fair that someone can make some comment about me not having had children? If I know them and it is in context it is generally okay and I am happy to discuss, debate and dissect. I don’t feel sad about it and I look after myself enough to feel I hopefully won’t get too frail to early. But when someone I don’t know very well says it in a very throwaway manner I feel it.
A friend of a friend once asked me at a kid’s birthday party; ‘where are your kids?’ I was a bit flabbergasted because that was the biggest assumption of all. He may as well have asked me; ‘where is your Ferrari?’ I just laughed with some discomfort and said, ‘I don’t have any.’ And quickly moved away.
I guess I am saying that my womb has a different view from some people and that is all…..